Tightrope - Dear December (Day 11.)

( I needed to say something, I wanted to use this blog as an outlet, and this is what today is about.)

Somebody told me once not to say things when I am angry.. That you say things you don't really mean. But does that apply to when you're writing? Oh well.

 I hope every time you look at me you think of me crying hysterically on my bed. Because you broke a stupid promise. How was I so naiive to believe that you would never hurt me. People say that love is blind and I always scoffed and laughed at that, because I never believed it to be true. I guess I was wrong. People say that you shouldn't kill yourself over a boy because he'll just bring another girl to your funeral. Funny thing is.. I'm not dead, and that's already true. Maybe I should start listening instead of being blindsighted. 

Three weeks and I have been told to forgive and forget. But what about repentence? What about somebody realising what they have done is wrong, and trying to fix it. I am fed up of hearing the excuses 'This isn't my fault. I haven't done anything wrong' If thats the case then why everytime you look at me do you see me broken. Things don't break by themselves. That tightrope I was on? That didn't just break. Somebody cut it. Maybe it was cut for the right reasons.. maybe for the wrong, But I was on that tightrope.. why do you think I am on the floor now, broken. 

Now some may say that these things happen in life, people learn as they grow. That is one thing I do believe in & yes people do learn from their mistakes, I am a product of this after all. I've learnt not to trust you. So when you are with her, think of this. That tightrope is now frayed, on it's last possible thread, another snip from the scissors and the tightrope falls apart.

Love.. The girl who fears remembering.